“Amazing”

Prepare yourself for a rant.

I was listening to a song yesterday, and as I was singing along, I noticed how powerful words can be.  My words carry weight.

Take the word “amazing.” What does “amazing” really mean?   The literal definition is this:

causing great surprise or wonder; astonishing. 

How often do you find yourself saying to someone “WOW, that is amazing!” just to carry on the conversation?  And, if you’re anything like me, you probably use the word “amazing” to describe just about everything that is even the slightest bit pleasing to you.

BUT, how often do you really mean that something is AMAZING?  How often are you truly ASTONISHED by your friend’s story, or the food you just ate, or the rollercoaster you just rode on?  Can we really honestly say that we are amazed by something if we aren’t truly in awe or wonder?

This thought came to me as I found myself saying the word “amazing” and really meaning it.  Truly, honestly, feeling ASTONISHED and in complete wonder.  And yet, I felt that the word was not up to par.

You see, I over-use these powerful words like they’re nothing.  So, when I really do mean it, it somehow means less.  It carries less weight. 

And that is such a bummer.  Because words are powerful.  And we find ourselves searching for something more than words for validation, because we have ruined the power that our words once held.  When we say words we don’t mean, when we “cry wolf” by over-using powerful words, even when we say TOO MUCH, our words lose their strength.  People stop listening.

Have you ever spoken to someone who really listened?  Someone who looked you in the eye, listened to each and every word you had to say, AND didn’t interrupt you?   How GOOD did that feel?

I often feel like what I have to say is a burden, and no one has the time to listen.  So I find myself speaking faster and faster, so as to not inconvenience  my listener.  Because in my mind, my words don’t matter.  My feelings don’t matter.

 I found myself doing this after I taught a yoga class last week.

Someone came up to me and asked me where I did my yoga teacher training.  So, I began to speak very fast about how I had done two of them, one in San Diego and one in Walnut Creek, blah blah.  I wasn’t even looking him in the eye.  I was even frothing in the mouth a bit because I was speaking so fast.  I was out of breath.  And then I looked up at him.  And he was there, looking me in the eye, waiting for me to continue telling him about it, because he genuinely wanted to know.

And I was taken aback.  I was ashamed at how little faith I had in humanity.  I somehow allowed myself to believe that he probably just asked to be nice, and he didn’t really care.  But I was so wrong, and in fact, I robbed him of a genuine conversation that he wanted to have because of my own bullshit. Especially about something that really matters to me. How often have I done that?

So let this encourage you as it encouraged me.

YOUR WORDS HOLD POWER.

WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY MATTERS.

Speak to humans like they want to listen and learn (even if they don’t).

MEAN what you say, and SAY what you mean.

Don’t speak too much. Don’t speak just to hear yourself talk.  If you use your words wisely, people will stop to listen to you.

Restore the power that words hold.  Don’t say something is amazing if it is not.

And ALSO, listen.  Really, truly listen.  Stop what you’re doing, put down the phone, stand still, and listen.  Do NOT interrupt, wait until they’ve stopped speaking completely to make any noise.  And just see how the person changes the way they’re speaking to you.  It works, trust me.

“Actions speak louder than words” is crap.  We made it that way by lying, and talking too much, and saying things we don’t mean.

Let’s change that.