Longings.

Today has been peculiar.  My mind will not shut up. I cannot stop thinking.  Non-stop thoughts.

Theres a longing in my heart that is all-consuming. Maybe I should call it a dream.  I’m a dreamer.

I have a habit of just going through the motions, waiting for tomorrow to come so the next day can follow, and then next week can happen.  And I fill up my schedule so the time will pass faster.  I am doing as much of what I love as I can, but I just can’t get enough. Why can’t the future be now?

But today I could not stop dreaming.  All day long.  My body was one place and my mind was another.  Just longing for authenticity.

Then I began to think, who am I when I am being my authentic self? What is authenticity to me?

And I’ve found it.  But I’m in this strange place where I feel as though I’m stuck on one side of a bridge and my dream is on the other.

I’m having a hard time being present because I just wish I could be somewhere else.  Gosh darn.

Why do we constantly put ourselves in situations where we aren’t being authentic, and are longing for something more?

This side of me comes out when I listen to music and flip through my photos of the happiest moments in my life.  Times where I was fully myself and didn’t think about anything but happiness and pursuing it.  Care-free Courtney.

Here is my proposition:

I am going to be inspired every single damn day.

And if I’m not, then I am making a change, because my future is exciting and inspiring and fulfilling, and I have everything I need to make it that way.

I will surround myself with inspiring humans.

I will do what I love.

I will live fully and freely.

I will love unconditionally and passionately.

And I will not take “no” for an answer.

You are who you say you are.  Not what anyone else says you are.  You have the power to make your dreams a reality.

Live with authenticity.